i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
