conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
