just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
