Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
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