So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
