i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
