It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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