His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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