yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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