tell your sister to shave her snatch
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize