We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
