toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
