More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
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