I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
