Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
