Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
her vagine was all disorganized.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
not ubering you a puppy
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
