went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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