Will you blow on my dice?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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