Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
ok first of all what the fuck
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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