can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
my liver is dry heaving
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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