You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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