i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
