I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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