My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
