The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
