yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
