And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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