Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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