So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Dicks are not precious.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
