I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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