No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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