oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
porn star boner night. come get it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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