Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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