I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
