my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
