so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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