I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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