fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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