he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize