We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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