I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
