I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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