Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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