Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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