I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
