My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
