Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
