He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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