I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
