Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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