You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
