I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
