We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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