Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
