Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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