I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
