You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
