Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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