drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
