like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
