Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
