Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
