i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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