ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
